How Changing Your Perspective Changes Your Body

What a broken water heater taught me about stress, control, and safety

Author

Erika Muralidhar
February 03, 2026

My hot water heater broke.

I have a background in nursing, so this was way out of my wheelhouse. But I also love being a bit of a handyman. I enjoy learning how things work, fixing them myself, and building what I call “life skills.” It’s something I genuinely find fun. So I decided to learn how water heaters work - or at least enough to fix this one.

So I did what I always do when something breaks:

  1. I asked my dad (always step one).

  2. I called an expert, aka a plumber.

  3. And I googled obsessively.

All while taking bucket showers, which consisted of boiling water on the stove.

This isn’t a “poor me” story. Even though it sounds like a horrible time, it actually brought me a surprising amount of gratitude.

Let me explain.

At first, I was frustrated. I was fully in a “poor-me” state — stuck in that “everything is going wrong” mentality. The inconvenience felt personal, like another thing on an already full plate.

But then something shifted.

I caught myself and thought, What if I reframed this? What if I chose to do something different here?

I used to believe asking for help was a weakness. I carried a strong “I can do this on my own” mentality, rooted in the belief that needing support meant I was failing.

Over time, and through a lot of inner work, I rewrote that belief to this:
Asking for help is a strength. It’s a reminder that I have a support system.

This situation gave me the chance to live that belief.

So I accepted help.

From my sister-in-law.
From a neighbor.
From a cousin.
From my parents.

And I did it comfortably, without guilt, without shame, and without feeling like I had to earn it.

It reminded me that the relationships I’ve cultivated are full of love. That being vulnerable is how strong relationships are built. And that asking for help is often the first step toward deeper connection.

It was also a time of unexpected gratitude.

Yes, it was inconvenient. But it wasn’t the end of the world.

Instead of fixating on the one thing I didn’t have, I kept coming back to everything I did. And that shift changed the entire experience. Even when I felt annoyed or frustrated, I would pause and laugh, not to bypass the feeling, but to bring myself back into ease, perspective, and lightness.

Our minds give us the reality we focus on.

I could have stayed locked into everything that was going wrong, or I could choose to find steadiness in the middle of it. I had a choice.

And to be clear - I didn’t ignore the problem or pretend it didn’t matter. I researched. I learned. I kept working toward a solution.

I just stayed aware that I could handle the problem without letting it consume me.

This experience is a perfect example of the work I do every day, both within myself and with my clients.

The external experience didn’t change.
The problem was still there. The frustration was still there.
It was still something I was responsible for solving and living inside of.

What did change was my internal experience.

I chose to give myself permission to pause.
To receive support.
To trust that a temporary disruption isn’t a personal failure.

Life is unpredictable. The more we try to control it, the more our nervous system and body push back. But when we change the internal experience, these disruptions become manageable. They do not knock us off track or send us into urgency, control, or self-judgment.

This is the work I practice daily, and it is the work I guide my clients through. I help them stop performing health and instead feel safe enough to live it. Not through more discipline or control, but through nervous system support, reframing long-held beliefs, and rebuilding self-trust.

If this story resonated with you, it is probably not about a water heater. It might be about a job that did not work out, a change in plans you did not see coming, a body that is not responding the way you expected, or a moment in life that suddenly feels heavier and more uncertain than you planned for.

It is about how you respond when life goes off script.

If you want support learning how to create safety in your body, especially during stress, uncertainty, or moments when nothing is going to plan, I would love to support you. You can learn more about working with me here.

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