Joy is Not Something You Earn

When I was cooking mushrooms the other night, I turned to my husband and said, "Can you go pick the sage from the garden?" And I was so incredibly happy.

I know. It's herbs. It's not impressive on paper. But to me, in that moment, it was everything.

About a year ago, my husband and I were moving around Brooklyn, not quite sure where we wanted to land for this next chapter of our lives. During that unsettled, in-between time, I made a vision board. The very first photo I put on it was a curly-haired girl with her hands in a pile of dirt, planting something.

Now I live in New York City. And I put a garden on my vision board.

The logical part of my brain thought, “Yeah, that’s a long shot”, but for once, I didn't listen to logic. I listened to the part of me that lit up when I looked at that photo. The part that felt something. The part that remembered what it felt like to want something just because it brings you joy. So I put it on the board. And I let myself want it without having to justify it to anyone, including myself.

A year later, we found our apartment. And I have been nesting ever since. Because here's something I've come to believe deeply, as a nurse, as a health coach, and as someone who has done a lot of her own healing work: Your space is as important to your health as food and movement.

The environment you come home to every day either restores your nervous system or quietly depletes it.

So when we moved, I was intentional. I put energy into warmth, coziness, and, most importantly, joy. I didn’t focus on it being a perfectly decorated apartment or an impressive space to others. Instead, I focused on the space that felt like my husband and me. And that's when the garden idea came back into focus.

I quickly realized I might not have space for a full garden, but I could grow herbs. So I got two planters. Each one holds four herbs. Eight little pots of something growing. Something that would make me happy every single day.

The first time I put my hands in the soil, really in it, no gloves, just me and the dirt, something exhaled in me that I didn't even know was holding on. I wasn't fixing anything. I wasn't optimizing anything. I wasn't being productive. I was just hanging out, listening to music, and being fully present. It was one of the most healing things I have done in a long time.

Here's what I've noticed as a nurse and health coach: the high-achieving women around me are incredible at doing. We are not always great at allowing. We allow rest when we've earned it. We allow joy when everything is handled or completed. We allow slowness when we have no other choice. And I was in this boat for a long time.

I used to believe that joy had to be earned. But slowly, I began to realize it didn't. Slowly, I noticed that slowing down and doing something for me wasn't a reward — it was medicine and selfFULness.

That's what my garden is teaching me: that growth doesn't come from force. It comes from showing up, creating the right conditions, and then allowing things to unfold.

No hustle required.

This week's small thing: Find one moment, just one, that is entirely for you and has no productive outcome. A walk with no podcast. Your morning coffee without your phone. Your hands in a pot of herbs on a windowsill. Five minutes of being instead of doing. Notice what shifts.

What to dive deeper?

This is exactly the kind of work I’m guiding in the F the Hustle Collective.

A small, intimate community for women who are ready to stop hustling and start coming back to themselves.

Founding members will receive a discounted and locked-in beta rate.

If you are interested in learning more, email me back!

Services I offer:

• Reiki, 30 & 60 minutes

• Health Coaching Sessions using my NLP and Nursing background

• Essential oil rollers & all-purpose cleaning spray