Let the House Be Loud

This weekend, we hosted a party for some family and friends.

It was the first time we had that many people coming over to our house since we bought it.

Our house was filled. Filled with family, filled with kids, filled with food, and filled with conversation.

There were a few moments that day when I felt old patterns creeping in — an underlying tone of anxiety, of control, of tightening.

The first came when we were getting things set up.

Old me would have wanted to do it all. No help. No assistance. Just me making sure everything was right.

Because somewhere along the way, I learned that control creates safety.

This version of me paused the moment I felt that old pattern creeping in.

I noticed the urge to take over. I noticed the tightening in my chest. I noticed the subtle thought: “If I don’t manage everything, then it will not be right.”

And I realized something important.

What even is “right”? Could there be more than one “right”?

If I tried to do it all, the only thing that would increase would be my anxiety. My heart rate. My internal pressure.

So I had a choice: old patterns or new opportunities.

And choose new opportunities - I delegated.

I asked for help. I asked people to cook, to set up, and to give input on how to create flow.

And what did that give me?

It gave me the opportunity to let go. To find ease. To trust others in my life. It gave me the opportunity to enjoy the process.

Joy feels different when your nervous system feels safe.

For years, I thought strength looked like being the one who could handle everything.

But this weekend, it looked like something else.

It looked like asking for help. It looked like letting the house be loud, staying in conversation, laughing, embracing the moments that didn’t look “perfect,” and trusting that nothing needed fixing.

I allowed myself to lean into the joy.

Smiling and laughing are biological highs. The change in brain chemistry increases the levels of serotonin and dopamine, which are our feel-good neurotransmitters. It helps shift the body from fight-or-flight into rest-and-digest.

As a nurse, I have seen what chronic stress does to the body. It elevates cortisol, disrupts sleep, causes digestive issues, hormone imbalances, and increases blood pressure. Stress keeps the body in a constant state of alert.

But safety and ease can change the body too.

When cortisol lowers, the body softens. Blood pressure decreases. Sleep improves. Digestion regulates. Hormones begin to rebalance.

We talk so much about managing stress.

But sometimes the most powerful intervention isn’t more control.

It’s allowing yourself to experience joy without feeling like you need to earn it first.

If you’re someone who hosts but never sits, skips conversations to clean up, constantly scans to see if people are having a good time, or feels self-conscious about the setup, take a moment.

The truth is:

You don’t need a bigger house.
You don’t need a better setup.
You don’t need to do more.

You might just need to let yourself feel safe enough to enjoy what’s already here. People are there to spend time with you. To be in your company. To share a meal. To feel connected.

Because control feels powerful.

But choosing joy?

That’s real strength.

If you’re curious how your nervous system tends to respond under stress, whether you tighten, over-function, internalize, or freeze, I created a short quiz to help you see your pattern clearly.

Because awareness is where change begins.

Services I offer:

• Reiki, 30 & 60 minutes

• Health Coaching Sessions using my NLP and Nursing background

• Essential oil rollers & all-purpose cleaning spray