'Let Them' Philosophy: The Viral Mindset Shift That’s Changing Lives

The new ‘let them’ philosophy has been sweeping the health and wellness field, so I wanted to discuss it with you.

Mel Robbins popularized these powerful two words: let them. Mel Robbins is an expert in mindset, motivation, and behavioral change. Recently, she wrote a book explaining how the theory works and how it can dramatically change your day-to-day mindset. As an NLP therapist, I use this mindset tool daily when I coach my clients.

The theory is simple to understand. Let individuals do what they want without putting their actions through a lens of judgment, ideals, or desires. Simply ‘let them’ do what they want to do—as long as it doesn’t cause bodily damage to themselves or others. Easy, right? Well, it's not as easy as you might think.

When we take in information, we usually process it with our own bias. When this cycle is uninterrupted, the outcome—aka our behavior—will be based on what we know and have learned from past experiences.

In contrast to what usually happens, the ‘let them’ strategy prioritizes taking in the information and breaking the chain of judgment. This allows you to release yourself from the outcome of someone else's choices.

This can work in a whole host of situations. Suppose friends are hanging out without you, which would usually spark a sense of insecurity or jealousy—negatively impacting your body (active readers know how often I talk about the mind/body connection). Why not detach from those feelings and just ‘let them’ be? Maybe they had a reason for wanting to hang out without you. It doesn’t mean that your relationships aren’t as close — that’s a story you are telling yourself driven by insecurity. Instead, you could say they want to foster a new experience this time without you, and that’s okay. They still love you all the same. Doesn’t that feel better?

Another example is when a friend may engage in a different way of life than you. Perhaps they were your neighbors, and now they want to move out. Even though you still love the city that you live in, they might be ready to move on. Hearing that they want to move may cause you to think, “Wow, that’s crazy. Don’t they know they will pay so much more money when they move?” or “It is so stupid to leave the city. They will be so boring, and it will be so annoying to see them, and we will not be as close now.” Why not ‘let them’ live their life and meet this news with excitement for their next journey? Doesn’t that feel differently in your body?

I often use this strategy as someone who works in the NLP world. I noticed that it frees me from overthinking and overstepping, and it reduces the likelihood of a possible cortisol spike when you feel out of control.

This stuff takes work. It’s not as easy as it seems. But the more you practice rewiring your brain, the better you will get at it. And the release you feel can be liberating! I work with clients on this daily, so if you want to learn more about it, book a FREE 15-minute consultation (virtual) and in-person in NYC!

This is just the surface of how to use this theory. If you are interested in learning more about the theory, I would recommend you read the full book!

Mark your calendar — some upcoming events:

• IN PERSON: Join me in Plano, TX, to watch and discuss The M Factor. This film was produced to break the silence surrounding menopause. I recommend that people of all ages attend because it’s never too early to learn more about your body! 

  Date: Thursday, March 27th, 2025

  Time: 6-8 pm CST

  Location: Schimelpfenig Library

  5024 Custer Road Plano, TX 75023
  Tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-m-factor-screening-tickets-1250063988039?aff=oddtdtcreator

• IN PERSON: Swing by my essential oil booth during the 2nd Annual All Things Cancer + Wellness Expo:

  Date: Saturday, April 19, 2025
  Time: 10 AM – 5 PM EST
  Location: DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Philadelphia Center City
  237 South Broad Street, Philadelphia, PA 19107