Stop Making It All About You

As you all know, I am a work in progress. I am someone who is always working on myself, reading new books, listening to new podcasts, working with NLP, and having real conversations with people I trust.

Something I have been working on lately is how not to take things so personally.

I'll give you an example. A friend said something recently, totally in passing, not a big deal to them at all. And I walked away from it thinking: wait, what did that mean? Was that a dig? Are they annoyed with me? Did I do something?

I replayed it for the rest of the day. And by the time I went to bed, I had built an entire case, evidence and all, out of a sentence that probably took them two seconds to say and zero seconds to think about after.

That is the story. And I was the only one living in it.

Have you ever walked away from a moment or a situation thinking: they must have disliked me. I must have done something wrong. They are doing this because of something I said or did.

When we attach a story or a meaning to something, we are creating a truth out of thin air. We are filling in the blanks. And here is what that actually does to your body: your nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real threat and an imagined one. When you are spinning a story, your brain sounds the alarm anyway. Cortisol floods your system. Your body goes into low-grade stress mode. And when that happens repeatedly, over hours, over days, you start to feel it physically. The sleep that will not come. The tension you are carrying in your shoulders. The fatigue you cannot explain. The weight that will not budge no matter what you do. Chronic cortisol elevation is one of the most common and most overlooked drivers of the symptoms my clients come to me with, and a lot of the time the trigger is not food or movement. It is the story or stories they have been telling themselves on repeat.

So what if instead, a comment is just a comment. An action is just an action. A look is just a look.

We are the ones adding the story. And who is it really hurting? Us. Yes, you could make the argument that some people are purposefully causing pain. But I choose to assume that most people are coming from a good place or a good intention. And even further, most people are not thinking about us that deeply. Harsh, I know. But that is the reality. Most people are just trying to get through their own day, and most of us are not always mindful of the words that come out of our mouths.

So for all the fellow overthinkers, hi, I see you. We can get so wrapped up picking apart everything someone does or says, but I can almost guarantee they are not thinking about it the way we are.

I am someone who works from the heart. I feel deeply, and that has caused me to overthink at times. So I am always working on checking the story. I ask myself what is actually true and what I just filled in. I ask whether I am creating something personal out of something that was never about me to begin with.

If this resonates, I want to invite you to start small. The next time you catch yourself in a story, just ask one question: is this true, or did I fill it in? That pause is where everything changes.

And if you want to keep doing this kind of work, come find us inside the F the Hustle Collective. It is exactly the space for it. Link below.

Also, a little news: I just got certified in vision boarding. If you've been thinking about hosting a vision board party or bringing something meaningful to a corporate event, I'd love to be your person. Drop me a message!

Services I offer:

• Reiki, 30 & 60 minutes

• Health Coaching Sessions using my NLP and Nursing background

• Essential oil rollers & all-purpose cleaning spray

• F the Hustle Collective