When Imagination Turned Into Rules

Remember when we were kids, and we had endless imagination?

I used to play with utensils at the dinner table and create stories for them. Maybe they were a family, animals, or a magic wand. I would look at two pillows and imagine all the ways I could turn them into a fort.

Our brains saw endless opportunities. Endless choices.

There wasn’t one “right” way to do things.

Then, somewhere along the way, that shifted.

I was taught how to color within the lines.
How to follow instructions.
How to play games with rules.

Slowly, I stopped imagining and started performing.

I learned how to complete tasks within the confines of what was acceptable, or what I thought was acceptable to others.

It was a formula for success, and I followed it:
I worked hard.
I made sure everything was in place.
Everything “right.”
I had a good job.
A good career.
A good husband.
A good apartment.
Good habits.

I had everything I thought I was supposed to have.

But inside? I felt disconnected.

Like something wasn’t quite clicking into place.

I would get irrationally upset over small things like dishes in the sink, laundry not done, the house not being perfectly clean, or when plans changed.

And it didn’t make sense because on paper, everything was fine. I was successful.

Looking back now, I can see it differently.

Those moments weren’t about dishes; it was about the loss of control. I thought there was only one way to do something to be right.

And if something didn’t go the way I thought it “should”, it was wrong. Not just the situation, but me. I was wrong. I wasn’t doing' enough. I wasn’t productive enough. I wasn’t disciplined enough. The list went on and on.

So I tightened in those moments, looking for more control, adding more to my to-do list, saying yes to more things, prioritizing everyone’s requests.

I wasn’t reacting to dishes. I was reacting to the feeling that things were out of order, out of control, outside of what I believed they should be.

And that’s when it clicked for me:

I hadn’t lost my imagination - I had just stopped seeing my options.

I stopped seeing that I had a choice in:

• How I responded

• What I prioritized

• What actually mattered to me

• What “right” even meant for me

Choice is magic.

Choice gives us the ability to move toward the feelings, behaviors, and relationships we actually want and away from the things we don’t.

There isn’t a perfect way to do something.
And when you start to see that everything softens, feels easier, more spacious, and effortless. Because there is less pressure to do something a certain way. It’s not about changing what is happening around you, because you can’t control that, but you can control how you respond.
 
So instead, you can ask:
What do I want?
What do I desire?
How do I want to feel?
What do I want to do next?

We have more choices than we’ve been taught to see.

And that?

That’s a blessing.

If you’re ready to start seeing your choices differently, join me in my F the Hustle workshop. April 19th in Brooklyn, NY.

Services I offer:

• Reiki, 30 & 60 minutes

• Health Coaching Sessions using my NLP and Nursing background

• Essential oil rollers & all-purpose cleaning spray