You Can Only Control You

I got home last week completely wiped. The kind of tired where your body feels heavy before you even sit down. I had dinner plans with a friend that night, and the second I walked through my door, every part of me was asking for my bed instead.

I went anyway.

Nobody made me. She would have understood completely if I'd texted and canceled. But somewhere in the fifteen seconds between dropping my bag and picking up my phone, I decided it was easier to push through than to disappoint them or to miss out on something I'd actually been looking forward to a few hours earlier when I had energy to spare.

So I said yes when every part of my body was already saying no.

I want to be honest about how that dinner actually felt. I was there, but I wasn't really there. I kept nodding along and trying to ask questions, all while fighting a yawn. I felt like I was overthinking and overdoing it to ignore my inner tiredness. I was doing the math the entire time on how many more minutes until I could reasonably leave. That's not what spending time with someone you love is supposed to feel like. That's what running on empty and calling it a plan looks like.

Here's the thing I keep coming back to. I only control me. Not whether she'd be disappointed if I canceled. Not what story she'd tell herself about why. The only thing that was ever actually mine to control in that moment was the choice itself, yes or no, rest or push. And I overrode it because managing her potential reaction felt safer than sitting with my own exhaustion.

Your nervous system does not know the difference between "I said yes to be kind" and "I said yes because I was scared to disappoint someone." It only knows that you asked it to keep performing after it had already told you it needed to stop. That's when you get the short temper, the shallow patience, the body that shows up somewhere but checks out the whole time. That's a body on overdrive.

I think about how often this happens in small, forgettable ways. The extra task you agree to when you're already stretched thin. The plan you don't cancel because you don't want to be "that person." The favor you say yes to before you've even asked yourself if you have it in you. None of these moments feels big enough to examine on its own. But your body is keeping a running total, even when your mind has moved on to the next thing.

It’s so easy to prioritize our needs and wants when we are constantly worrying about how others view and see us. So before I say yes, I pause and ask what's true for me, not what's easier for someone else. Sometimes the honest answer is still yes. But when it's no, I'm learning to trust that the people who matter would rather have me honest than present and resentful.

You only control yourself. Not how someone takes your no. Not whether they understand right away. Just whether you're willing to listen to your own body before you hand your night away to keep the peace.

If this is a pattern you recognize in yourself, saying yes when your body is already saying no, that's exactly the kind of thing we work through inside the F the Hustle Collective, together, without doing all the overriding alone.\

Also, a little news: I just got certified in vision boarding. If you've been thinking about hosting a vision board party or bringing something meaningful to a corporate event, I'd love to be your person. Drop me a message!

Services I offer:

• Reiki, 30 & 60 minutes

• Health Coaching Sessions using my NLP and Nursing background

• Essential oil rollers & all-purpose cleaning spray

• F the Hustle Collective

Mark your calendar — some upcoming event

• VIRTUAL, Is the Shot Enough?: A real conversation about GLP-1s, hustle culture, and the health piece nobody is talking about

  Date: July 16th at 11-12 pm ET

  Tickets Here

• VIRTUAL, It’s Not All in Your Head: Your Body Changed the Rules

  Date: July 23rd and 24th at 12-1 pm ET

  Tickets here