- Health E Wellness Newsletter
- Posts
- Your Needs Are Not Too Much
Your Needs Are Not Too Much
What a Murphy bed taught me about asking for what you need and actually getting it
Erika Muralidhar
June 02, 2026
My in-laws have been staying with us for over a week now, which is not that uncommon in our household and is by design. We want people to come stay in our house and be around us.
During the week, though, there was a moment of tension. Everyone was working. Me, my husband, his parents. Everyone had things to get done, people to talk to, and deadlines to meet. The difference was that I am a solopreneur, and my husband and his parents work together.
As we were getting ready for the week ahead, I noticed my gut and throat tighten. I started overthinking and strategizing how and where everyone was going to get their things done. And there it was — that strong old familiar pull that the easiest solution was to get out of the way. Remove myself from the house and from the equation. Not because I wanted to, but because my old little people-pleaser was piping up.
In the past, I would have just done it. Quietly moved my things to a small corner and convinced myself it was fine. That displacing myself was the perfect solution. Why? Because my work was not as important. I am only one person, not a team of three. And I did not want to create any tension, so I should just avoid asking for a win-win.
But this time I paused.
I noticed this pattern creeping up from beneath the surface. The truth was that this was not me being easy. It was me shrinking. It was me avoiding saying what I needed and desired. It was my assumption that those needs and desires would not be well received. It was the fear that I would be seen as annoying — and that, to me, equated to not being loved.
And once I recognized that root belief, I chose a different path. This time, I asked for a win-win.
Which simply was “hey, I have a lot of meetings this week, would you mind if we put up the Murphy bed each day so I can work from that room?”
It was that easy. And you know what happened? I was met with “yeah, of course, no big deal”.
The truth is I did not know what they were thinking. I did not know what they were going to say. All I knew was that I was coming from a place of positive intention and desired a win-win. And when we come from that place and are honest about what we need, we stop building quiet resentment. We give everyone the chance to actually show up for each other.
And that is not selfish.
This is something I work on with women all the time, not just in their health but in their lives. The positive intention underneath people-pleasing is almost always love. A desire to be accepted, to keep the peace, to not be a burden. That intention is beautiful. And it needs a new strategy.
This week, I want you to notice: is there any place where you are making yourself small? What assumption are you making about what will happen if you ask? And is that actually true?
Because you are not too much. Your needs are not an inconvenience. And speaking up for yourself is one of the most loving things you can do, because nobody can read your mind. By asking, you are giving others insight into you and creating an opportunity for deeper understanding.
If this resonated and you are ready to do this work in a supported space, come find us inside the F the Hustle Collective.
Because you were never meant to do this work alone.
Services I offer:
Health Coaching Sessions using my NLP and Nursing background
Mark your calendar — some upcoming event
IN-PERSON, An Ignited Manifestation & Vision Board, West Reading, PA
Date: June 26th, 6-8 pm
Location: Finch and Fern: 728 Penn Ave, West Reading, PA 19611VIRTUAL, Is the Shot Enough?: A real conversation about GLP-1s, hustle culture, and the health piece nobody is talking about
Date: July 16th
VIRTUAL, It’s Not All in Your Head: Your Body Changed the Rules
Date: July 23rd and 24th
Reply